The trick to camping is finding time to relax.
In my family, camping is nothing like what you see on TV, so you can sit obediently watching yodelling loons drift near a tranquil lake while a quiet couple enjoys the fireplace. It is an idyllic environment.
Our camp is a little more chaotic. Our family camping trips, as we’ve done over the years, consist of a small army of hungry people of all sizes and shapes and at least one dog obsessed with chasing squirrels. This is because it contains
There is no doubt that it has evolved with the advancement of technology. For some families, the tent days are being replaced by giant campers with fluffy beds, multiple TVs and air conditioning.
As for me, my tent days are definitely behind me. No matter how thick the air mattress was, it didn’t keep her wife from popping off the other end every time. I sat down.
But even with all the comforts and conveniences of modern equipment, just finding enough paper plates and plastic forks to feed 15 people is a daunting task. There are always a million plastic spoons, but to find the required amount of forks, the Federal Marshals must launch an investigation.
Preparing dinner begins almost immediately after breakfast, but usually ends at lunchtime because breakfast preparation takes time. Years ago, when we were all in tents, smelling of fuel and using Coleman stoves that produced flames the size of matches, we found ourselves in a spacious cabin far, far away. I came up with the grand idea of hosting breakfast for my in-laws who lived in the comfort of…the road from the campsite. The camp apparently wasn’t challenging enough, so we added more people into the mix.
This was a major undertaking that included dozens of eggs, a large quantity of pancakes, multiple types of sausage, piles of potatoes with onions and peppers, coffee, juice and chopped fruit. I wanted to give, and the pressure was on as if Gordon Ramsay was yelling in my ear that the potatoes wouldn’t stir.
When finished, it resembled a ragged bunch of disheveled hobos covered in sweat, butter, and syrup. The camp then repeated the whole process of cooking, eating, cleaning and sleeping.
Times have certainly changed. The equipment is much better and cooking on the evenly burning flat top grill is much easier. But it’s still production, all the utensils are spot on, and you’re still outside rather than in a comfortable kitchen where the water comes from the spout.
Food always seems to be at the heart of camping, and simple things like frozen potatoes and baloney sandwiches just don’t cut it. I’m starting to think.
It’s fun to sit in a giant air-conditioned camper van watching the game and eating a microwaved pizza.
I may look into it someday.
Ray Kisonas is the Regional Editor for The Monroe News and The Daily Telegram. He can be reached at [email protected].